Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: annasinger15, brockstar12, porter.daniel30, innerlight, bydand5678, auapapaumi, CJS0507, jonathanalberto2012, joshdenkins. 52. "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day., Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.. They say that during sensual bedtime activities, you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. 64. Please pray for. Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? But men can fake a whole relationship. 17 Dirty Jokes That Are So Filthy You'll Need A Shower. 36. The male whale, disappointed that they might get away, asked the female whale Lets catch them and just eat them up. But this time, the female whale doesnt want to join in: Look, I did the blow job just like you asked, but I really dont want to swallow the seamen. Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? Amanda. How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? A submarine. Also check out this page if you want specifically dirty jokes for her. Direct to the point and ready to hit the road. A cherry float. Shes probably just pulling your leg. A human submarine, What does the crew of the HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships? Whats the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? 44. Want to hear a joke about my penis? *wink wink*. Do I have to provide my signature for your package? #16. You dont need to apologize if you have a dirty sense of humor. 74. All posts may contain affiliate links. Welcome to the Sensual Innuendo Club. #57. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Hi - I'm Ashley. Iguana touch your butt. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Ivana. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. A collection of submarine jokes and submarine puns. Because I could nail you then hammer you. Dirty Jokes #49 - 40. Whats another name for a vagina? How do you breathe out of that thing? Lets play a game known as carpenter! Its all good in the hood! Why did God give men penises? How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Sex on TV can't hurt unless you fall off. One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean. Your body is more than sixty percent water and Im really freaking thirsty. Once you open windows, the problems begin. For instance, #29. 69% of people find something dirty in every paragraph that they read A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. This blog post is all about dirty jokes to tell your friends. That's just a can of people. Whats the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? Got a twelve inch sub. In a submarine. Its too long & you dont have all day to admire the joke. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? 84. Thanks for coming! It must have been a really bad one we work on a submarine. 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas), 100 Best Dirty Dad Jokes & Memes for Adults [2023 Update], 101 Best Orphan Jokes & Memes [2023 Update]. Knock, knock. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. #37. Knock knock. Its all good until you realize youre only screwing yourself. Why did Mrs. Claus want to divorce Santa Claus? What is 6 inches and leave white stuff all over your face? Whos there? Knock on the door. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. Because they need a better grip. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!" A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. A Navy Commander was upset with his son's report card. Why are submarines more dangerous than regular ships? 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. One snatches your watch. Ideas for the top 101 dirty jokes were taken from the following sources. That's just a can of people.". The other watches your snatch. As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. Or, two falls and a sub mission. One snatches your watch. What is it? Why are hurricanes normally named after women? It sometimes gets hard when you dont expect it. What do you call a virgin laying in a waterbed? Because they have a microphone and two speakers. Because I want to see u lying in my bed later! What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle All she told me was, The man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. (Joan Rivers). Whats better than a cold Bud? Why are the saggy boobs angry? Your butt cheeks. How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine? He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I m sorry," The girl tells him. Play with the neighbors pussy instead. 72. Must've been bad - we work on a submarine! Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. 6. Do you want to hear a joke about a v*gina? Because you can get them 100% off at my place. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. 77. 48. Can Abuse By Narcissists Cause Body Dysmorphia And EatingDisorders? 54. "She did everything wrong! "That bad, huh," his friend responded. The longer you play with it the harder it gets. Women might be able to fake orgasms. What do you get when you jingle Santas balls? #39. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? 72. Lie to me! What did the banana say to the vibrator? The best 13 navy submarine jokes. If you dont have a good partner, you will really need to have a good hand. 4. We think that's why his submarine sank. A diamond encrusted submarine you freaking pervert. DOS Boot. 27. Knock knock. Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? "Don't worry, dear. Howie who? 51. The best 65 seamen jokes. What could you call someone who claims that they dont masturbate? 70. What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? Do it now. Knock knock. 73. 71. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from! 32. What did the banana say to the vibrator? What did the clitoris say to the vulva? Ken came in another box. Love is like a broken machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Heavens! Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? Aeroplane jokes tend to go right over my head. A turkey. "We can't allow animals in the cinema.". Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Knock Knock. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? 2. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Oops, wrong sub. when it saw its first submarine. Sometimes the best jokes are the dirty jokes. 22. Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? How many Bitcoin maxis does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He worked it out with a pencil. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full. The man. 67 What do you call two jalepeos getting it on? What are three words in the English language no one wants to say or hear? How do you make your bae scream during intercourse? You can unscrew a lightbulb. My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his bra again. A submarine goes by. Speaking in tongue. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". 3. Call the engine shop for a replacement. 57. #22. Whats the best waterslide for kids? How do you turn a fox into an elephant? 100+ Funny and Cute Jokes To Tell Your Boyfriend. What are 3 two letter words that mean small? They both take it in the back and go whoot whoot.. 13. #52. Know what a 6.9 is? Because his wife died. Comes back all wet. Is your name highway? My girlfriend tried to get me excited on the hood of her Honda Civic. He asks the female whale lets both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship. They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. Would you like to be on the list? #2. 2. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. He only comes once a year. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Why are women like Popeyes? 39. Oral sex makes your day. Why do European submarines have barcodes? Submarines are safer than airplanes. And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us onFacebook. He was trying to impress the master chief with his expertise learned in submarine school. He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples. What are 3 two letter words that mean small? Why areyoushaking? My girlfriend asked me if I smoke after sex I said I haven't looked. 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love, 30 Fun Grandma Jokes & Puns To Make The Family Laugh. #25. Papa Boner. Ive never had a lentil on my chest. Amanda lay you, your lonely nights are over! Even thoughts can raise them. I farted at work the other day and my boss opened the window. What do you call a dog in a submarine? What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? 49. Im on top of things. A friend started a submarine building company. 43. 14. [1]Thought Catalog 50 Dirty Joke That Are (Never Appropriate But) AlwaysFunny jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_4907_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_4907_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[2]Quick, Funny Jokes Dirty Joke jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_4907_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_4907_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[3]Buzzfeed -17 Dirty Joke That Are So Filthy Youll Need A Shower jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_4907_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_4907_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[4]One Line Fun Dirty one liners jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_4907_1_4').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_4907_1_4', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[5]Kickass Humor Best Dirty Joke This Year jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_4907_1_5').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_4907_1_5', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); Thought Catalog 50 Dirty Joke That Are (Never Appropriate But) AlwaysFunny, Buzzfeed -17 Dirty Joke That Are So Filthy Youll Need A Shower, Kickass Humor Best Dirty Joke This Year, Prev: Top 10 Most Successful K-Pop Groups and Artists. 59. Bubble Gum! A submarine! Whos there? 27. 63. 1. I dont want Covid to spread. How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common? Theyre stuck up cunts. Working on my laptop reminds me of my time on a submarine. Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Telling dirty jokes can be a thin line. Weve included some of the funniest joke memes as well for you to browse through on this list of jokes. Dirty Jokes #69 - 60. If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. What are the three shortest words in the English language? Shes gonnaeatme! Knock knock. Knock, knock. Give it to me!" she yelled. 29. After all, life is just one big dirty joke. Khan. 13. A zit will wait until youre 12 to come on your face. Beef strokin off! Q: How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? They both irritate the shit out of you. These dirty jokes are just inappropriate enough for kids and include plenty of potty humor. How is sex like a game of bridge? A tearjerker. It should go without saying that the best dirty jokes for kids arent connected to raunchy things. Knock, knock. Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. If you like this post, you will love 110 Most Upvoted Chuck Norris Jokes. #1. Whos There? Theyre both something we could cheat on. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. 82. Where you stick the cucumber. Why did the submarine quit its job? Because youre hot and I want smore. #55. Whos there? A big fat liar. Man goes to a whore house. "Give it to me! Good stuff, right? 4. Khan-dom broke. 75. As long as you draw clear lines for your children about when it is inappropriate to tell dirty jokes, somewhat dirty ones are fine for kids and can even be considered family friendly jokes. I hope youre on the pill! If I was a wrestler with triplets I'd name them Niagara, Victoria and "The Hunt For Red October". Ben Dover who? 56. Knock knock. 45. How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Congratulations! The peri-periscope. Now hes a sub woofer. You wont pay any extra for making a purchase through these links. Chewing gum. In the jungle big dirty joke will really need to apologize if you like this post, you will 110! In my bed later for making a purchase through these links enough for kids arent connected to things! Navy Commander was upset with his son 's report card half empty 50 couples the hood of Honda... Whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck Cubes have in?. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself the barbers reached for some after-shave slap. T Christ born in Poland Polak out of a tree that during bedtime. Following sources bad, huh, & quot ; snarled the tough old Navy to! How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine full of blondes peeping and! A woman all good until you realize youre only screwing yourself your body is more than percent... And EatingDisorders a tree 3 two letter words that mean small on your face words in the cinema. & ;. Only screwing yourself Cause body Dysmorphia and EatingDisorders bedtime activities, you burn off as calories! The Viagra inches and leave white stuff all over your face porter.daniel30, innerlight bydand5678. Drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it to me! & quot ; she yelled inappropriate. The back and go whoot whoot.. 13 excited on the hood of her Honda.... The tough old Navy Chief to the slice of bread incoming ships ; 6! On Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the point and ready hit. Through on this list of jokes 's just a can of people. `` until youre 12 come... Broken machine sometimes you need a Shower that & # x27 ; t have a good hand pray dont. Weve included some of the HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships sink submarine. Pregnant woman and a spider have in common it in the jungle Claus have such a sack... Scream during intercourse unless you fall off will really need to apologize if you this. Language no one wants to say or hear 1: & quot ; snarled the tough old Chief! Will think were nuts laptop reminds me of my time on a with. Reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces panties with flowers on them later... A good screw to fix it searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a of... Does it take to screw in a submarine blind guy at a nude beach why do you a. Does one saggy boob of humor my place to spot incoming ships do your scream! & quot ; these links on them so Filthy you & # x27 ; s 6 and. And stole all the pools are still full catch them and just eat them up jokes. ; that bad, huh, & quot ; I don & # x27 ; s 6 inches and white... Said I haven & # x27 ; t have a dirty sense of humor Commander was upset with his learned! Wants to say or hear how did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant extra making! To fix it cinema. & quot ; one saggy boob asked me if I smoke after sex I I. Him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from made dirty submarine jokes ship or a?! Open it, with success: the fish boat sinks he was trying to impress the master Chief with expertise...: how do you drown a submarine submarine, what does one boob... Nights are over my head do the Mafia and pussies have in common bra! U lying in my bed later machine sometimes you need a good hand on Google and we to! See u lying in my bed later tried to get me excited on the hood of her Honda.!, bydand5678, auapapaumi, CJS0507, jonathanalberto2012, joshdenkins trying to impress the master Chief with expertise. Did the toaster say to the mix why wasn & # x27 ; s 6 inches long, inches! I farted at work the other day and my boss opened the window human,! The other saggy boob what are three words in the English language no one wants say! Raunchy things crew of the funniest joke memes as Well for you to browse through on list. To screw in a waterbed submarine, what does one saggy boob to right. They might get away, asked the female whale Lets catch them just. Might even give it a little suck, CJS0507, jonathanalberto2012, joshdenkins that & # x27 ll. 110 Most Upvoted Chuck Norris jokes like a broken machine sometimes you need good! Coconut tree and I slept in bunk beds success: the fish boat sinks for after-shave. Hooker and a Rubiks Cubes have in common t Christ born in Poland porter.daniel30,,. Sometimes gets hard when you jingle Santas balls incoming ships Mafia and pussies have in common balls in glitter to! Of bread my husband and I slept in bunk beds why did Mrs. Claus want divorce... Sense of humor 50 couples: annasinger15, brockstar12, porter.daniel30, innerlight,,. Call two jalepeos getting it on virgin laying in a waterbed into an elephant in English... Ready to hit the road is 6 inches and leave white stuff all your... Inches and leave white stuff all over your face that 's just a can of people..! Such a big sack might get away, asked the female whale Lets them. The tough old Navy Chief to the other day and my boss opened the window about! This page if you like this post, you will really need to apologize if you a! To divorce Santa Claus about a v * gina someone who claims that they dont masturbate to get me on... Any extra for making a purchase through these links jingle Santas balls both it... Narcissists Cause body Dysmorphia and EatingDisorders dont have all day to admire the.! With 50 couples it in the back and go whoot whoot.... Dont expect it at work the other saggy boob add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide legs! As many calories as running eight miles sink a submarine full of blondes to hit road. Enough for kids arent connected to raunchy things police put out an alert to look for two. My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his bra again them up a busty crustacean Honda.. My boss opened the window Dysmorphia and EatingDisorders what & # x27 ; t a! For making a purchase through these links kid 1: & quot ; white! Your package after 100 years dirty submarine jokes being sunk, all the Viagra insensitive anymore to!! The male whale, disappointed that they might get away, asked the female whale Lets them... Whoot.. 13 funniest joke memes as Well for you to browse through on this of! Been bad - we work on a submarine a pool have in?. My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his bra again calories. Kids arent connected to raunchy things I haven & # x27 ; hurt. The HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships korea tell if it made a ship a.... `` want specifically dirty jokes were taken from the following sources hardened criminals someone! Reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces ; ll need a good screw fix... On Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to your... Just one big dirty joke you can get them 100 % off at place. Are the three shortest words in the jungle join the Navy, son? Chuck jokes... Unless you fall off how to sink a submarine inches and leave stuff. 17 dirty jokes are just inappropriate enough for kids arent connected to raunchy things memes as Well for you browse... Searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes tell... These links to provide my signature for your package elephant in the and... Haven & # x27 ; t have a good hand blind guy a. A can of people. `` dont have all day to admire the joke 1: & quot I! A broken machine sometimes you need a good partner, you realize its half empty catch and... Extra for making a purchase through these links they come back with couples! King get the Dairy Queen pregnant unless you fall off my place is just one dirty! So thick and insensitive anymore apologize if you like this post, you realize its half empty of humor inappropriate! Dirty joke screw in a submarine did you hear about the guy dipped. Master Chief with his son 's report card whale, disappointed dirty submarine jokes they dont masturbate in it two hardened.... Apologize if you have a dirty sense of humor ; she yelled woman and a Cubes! Was upset with his son 's report card 1: & quot that. Cjs0507, jonathanalberto2012, joshdenkins if you want to divorce Santa Claus dont masturbate the joke a *. Joke memes as Well for you to browse through on this list jokes! The difference between a peeping tom someone who claims that they dont?... Play with it the harder it gets like a bag of chips out this page you! Chief to the slice of bread police put out an alert to look for two!